How to Find the Right Fit Counselor

In today’s blog I am going to give you some tips for how to find the right fit

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When looking for a counselor, it is important that you don’t just meet with someone because they have openings, but to find someone who is going to be the right fit for you. Why? Because, typically, when someone seeks counseling they are seeking someone with whom they can begin building a longer-term relationship. You are making an investment when you participate in counseling--in time, money, and emotional energy. If you can find someone that is the right fit from the beginning then you don’t have to tell your story over again, or feel like you didn’t spend money in the best way due to a poor fit (although this can’t always be avoided). A poor fit can present in a number of different ways, from someone not being trained to specifically treat the issue you want to discuss in counseling, to personalities clashing.

So what are some things that you can do to find a counselor that is the right fit for you?

1. Find someone who specializes in your area of concern

I also talked about the importance of this in a blog on how to get the most out of counseling. I am including this first because it is one of the most important areas to consider when seeking a counselor. I do not recommend seeing a counselor who specializes in substance abuse, for instance, if you are primarily dealing with anxiety.

A specialist knows more about the specific issues you are facing

The reason for seeking a specialist is that, although all counselors have general counseling skills that can be helpful, a specialist just knows more about your issue of concern and will likely take you further in counseling. Of special note--if a counselor says that they can help you with 20-30 different problems and yours happens to be on the list, it just means that they have some level of comfort in treating this area but not necessarily that they have specialized training with this issue.

2. Take advantage of free consultations

Many counselors offer free consultations to get a chance to hear more about you and give you a chance to ask them questions. I do this in my practice and find it invaluable because it is a great time-saver. During a phone consult, the counselor can learn some nuances of what you are dealing with, for instance whether you have panic attacks if you go into a social situation versus anxiety experienced related to fear of germs. These differences are important for the counselor to learn about so they can help you determine if they will potentially be a right fit for you. Consults also give you an initial impression of the counselor’s personality and style to see if they are a fit.

Consults give you a head-start to the counseling process

In a phone consult with me, you will learn that I tend to be more casual rather than use a lot of professional-speak, and that I dive in quickly to “detective mode” to try to gain an in-depth understanding of your situation right away. If someone calls me and they are looking for someone who is more professionally distant or goes more slowly getting into the deeper topics, then I may not be the right fit. I do suggest that some caution is used when making decisions off of the phone consult, though. Sometimes I start working with a client who technically is a fit for me based on my specialty because they are dealing with anxiety but I’m not quite certain about personality fit and I am sometimes later (happily) surprised that we are a great long-term fit for each other. If your gut says “absolutely not” after speaking with a potential counselor that is one thing, but if it feels like someone could potentially be a fit then you can always give it a try.

3. Prioritize personality fit

If you plan to develop a longer-term relationship with a counselor, your personality fit with them matters. If you start meeting with a counselor and there are things they do that are not a good fit for you, then pay attention to this.

Not every counselor is a fit for everyone

For instance, some people have a preference for counselors who “tell it like it is” in a more blunt way, and others prefer someone who shares feedback in a more gentle and encouraging manner (by the way, I’m the second!). Or someone may appreciate sarcastic humor while another doesn’t like it. You may not develop trust with someone who is not a personality fit, and trust is crucial to the counseling process.

4. Consider core beliefs

As a Christian counselor, many of my clients are also Christian. I have been told by most of them that working with a Christian counselor was one of their main priorities. Some of the reasons for this are that they want to work with someone with the same core beliefs who will provide counsel based in that belief system, and also so that when they discuss something related to their Christian beliefs that the counselor will have an understanding of this important area of their lives. If you meet with a counselor with a different set of core beliefs about life then they may provide counsel that is not in alignment with your belief system and values.

A counselor’s personal beliefs influence the counsel they provide.

Something to consider when choosing a counselor with shared core beliefs is the incredible difference in what those beliefs mean to people, and the priority they place on that set of beliefs in their lives. For instance, one professional may call themself a Christian counselor but the Bible has little bearing on their lives or practice, whereas another “Christian counselor” may strive for the Bible to serve as their primary guide to life.

[Although a counselor’s personal beliefs always influence their worldview, it does not mean that they will force their beliefs on the client or degrade the belief system of their client. This would be unethical! All counselors should be respectful of all people, regardless of whether they differ in belief system]

AND now for some “don’ts” when finding a great-fit counselor:

5. Don’t [always] use insurance benefits

Many people start their search for a counselor by trying to find someone who takes their in-network insurance benefits. Obviously, it is wonderful when you can pay less for a service, which is typically the case when using your insurance. But there are a few downsides. Primarily, it may be difficult (unfortunately sometimes very difficult) to find a counselor who specializes in your area of concern. As stated earlier regarding specialists, you may find someone who can give some level of help but if that person does not have the specialty you seek you likely won’t get the same level of assistance as you would with a specialist.

Using insurance can greatly limit your counseling options

There are additional reasons that not using insurance can be helpful, although not necessarily related to finding a counselor who is the right fit. These deserve a mention. First is that it can be very difficult to find someone with an opening who takes insurance. I have known people who have looked for a counselor for months because they cannot find anyone who takes their insurance. Secondly, you do not have the same level of confidentiality when using insurance benefits. At any time your insurance company can request records, which includes your notes from sessions, in order to do random audits. Third, your counselor’s hands are more tied as far as services they can provide because insurance companies will only cover certain types of counseling.

Again, you can find a great-fit counselor using insurance, it just limits your options. Another thing to consider related to using insurance benefits is to look at your out-of-network coverage. You may find that you have good out-of-network benefits and this greatly expands the counselors you can choose from.

6. Don’t [always] consider price

This goes hand-in-hand with not choosing a counselor solely based on insurance. The cost of counseling sessions varies greatly. This can be a situation in which the amount you pay for something is reflected in the service you receive. It is possible that if someone is charging something like $70/session then they may not provide the same level of service as someone who charges $300/session. However, this is certainly not always the case. Many great counselors provide lower sliding scale options because they want to make counseling more accessible to more people. And some counselors who are charging higher fees may not have the depth of clinical knowledge that matches those fees.

Session costs may or may not reflect the counselor’s ability level

If you are making a choice between two counselors, one charging $125 and the other charging $175, and you feel that the one charging the higher fee will be a much better fit, then it may be important to consider how to make the higher fee work so that you can potentially get a better result from counseling. If you are getting more out of each session with the counselor with the higher fee than it might be a better use of your finances than seeing the counselor with the lower fee.

7. Don’t [always] base your search for a counselor on location

Basing a counselor pick on location, such as the city where you live, is another way to limit the counselors you can choose from. Thankfully, in the current days of telehealth, you can see anyone who is licensed in your state. Not limiting your search based on location is a great way to increase your counselor options because you can do telehealth with a counselor who is hundreds of miles away.

Telehealth has greatly expanded your counselor options

Sometimes there are reasons you might choose to limit your search based on location, such as if you have difficulty finding a confidential location to do telehealth sessions within your home. (I actually have a number of clients who meet with me from their cars, but this isn’t a preferred, or available, option for everyone). Also, you might be someone who just has a preference for being in the same physical space as your counselor.

Finding the right fit counselor has a lot to do with preference. My suggestion is to be open-minded to things that aren’t necessarily deal-kills like, for instance, a preference for meeting in-person versus telehealth, and to be diligent about items like finding a counselor who specializes in the issue(s) you want to discuss in counseling. All the best to you in your search for the right fit counselor!

**Do you think I could be your “right fit” counselor? Be sure to set up a free 20-minute phone consultation at 281-746-9826 or kristen@upliftingcounsel.com. I provide counseling to clients in Texas and Oregon and would love to talk with you about the possibility of working together